Today is the day that I confront my issues and deal with them for the last time.
I confessed recently in my blog here that I had my thesis written for me by a company. That is shameful enough, but because I was struggling generally to do anything, I then had the thesis abstract written by them as well.
So today is the day I confront this for the last time and get rid of it forever.
What I’m going to do is put the two together, as the abstract has now arrived complete the entire thesis, and make it feel all tied together as something of my own. That way I will feel just a little less guilty when I submit it.
I have to draw a line under this issue because cheating with my thesis writing is utterly shameful and I’ve had enough of dealing with it in my head.
So I am going to try not to talk about it any more, maybe other than referring to it in this blog a little bit, I have two try move on from it because it’s really getting me down and making me miserable.
I think I have to get out of the flat today and do something different, something fun perhaps with some other people so that I don’t sit and think about this all day. It’s very difficult when you are feeling isolated and lonely and down, because you tend to shut yourself away, which means your brain goes into overdrive and it makes things worse.
So I must fight hard to not let that happen and I must get out there today in the sunshine and try and see the world and forget about what I’ve done. I must draw a line under this and never cheat like this again, this is my three-year degree course and I cannot have every paper and thesis written for me, that would be ludicrous.
Right I’m going to draw a line right now and post this blog post and then I’m going to get out of my pyjamas, have a shower, get dressed and I’m going to head out into the sunshine and go and see my friends and get on with my life.